ddlgdoodles:

Impact play is a common kink that’s practiced in D/s dynamics and S&M. It can be a form of punishment, teasing, and funishment. Spanking is the most well-known form of impact play either with hands and brushes. However, other objects can be used depending on the amount of pain or bruising that wants to be inflicted.

Short range vs Long Range:

Short range objects include hand, brush, ruler, belt, paddle, or anything that requires you to stand fairly close to the spankee.

Long range objects include canes, crops, whips, cat o nine tails, and floggers.

Safety:

  • Practice before engaging in impact play if you’re using long range or hard equipment.
  • Always have your partner’s consent and a safe word. If you don’t have a safe word, use these colors:
    red = stop
    yellow = slow down or pause
    green = resume the scene
  • If the spankee is gagged or cannot speak, use a hand signal as safe words.
  • If you’re using a whip, practice with it before using it on someone. Aiming isn’t as easy as it looks and you could accidentally injure your sub/bottom.
    Also keep in mind that whips can break skin!
  • Never hit the following areas:
    Mid back - Your kidneys are located here
    Tailbone
    Spine
    Hips
  • These areas can be hit but with caution:
    Face (only with your hand)
    Crotch/genitalia
    Inner thighs
    Breasts/chest
  • If you spank someone with a cane or whip and the spankee bleeds, clean your equipment before using it on someone else.

A good thing to remember is that fatty areas work well with harder spankings and objects, while boney areas should not be hit with hard objects (like brushes and paddles) and should be hit moderately and lightly.

Don’t be afraid to attend dungeons and observe how others use their toys and ask questions.

Aftercare:

Aftercare is extremely important. Not only could you have bruises and welts to soothe but you have to treat subdrop also. If you’re not familiar with subdrop or subspace, refer to this post or read on Google.

Having an aftercare kit is a good start. It should include an icepack, wet cloths, bandaids, a blanket, water and Gatorade, pain relievers, and energy food.

Do not leave your sub or bottom alone after a scene. Hold them, hug them, kiss them, cuddle them or anything that lets you know that you love them and soothes them.

If you’re shaking, feeling lightheaded, panicking, or hyperventilating you should lie down and relax. I recommend taking deep breaths where you breathe in from your nose, hold it in, and then exhale until the next breath comes naturally. This is something that I was taught to do for panic attacks. This should help the tremors (shaking) stop, help you calm down, and bring your heart beat and breathing back to normal.

i am the blood of the dragon. do not presume to teach me lessons.

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"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad."

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via mno-bimaadiziwin)

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